February 29, 2019 (12:07 a.m.)

So..here it is..Monday!!!…like the song except I like to say…”just another shitty Monday…ohh..ohh”! Monday’s always seem to suck the most..i swear..throughout my life it seems like if  something is going to happen bad..then..count on it being a Monday. Well..at least I get to sleep before I experience the brunt of it. Just after midnight and I am feeling pretty good. Got my ibuprofen fix about an hour ago(it calms down my muscles and helps me relax..for future reference). Now I just need to take all my anxiety and bipolar meds and i am ready to go. The weird thing is the naps that I have been taking at about 9:00 at night..for about an hour and a half. I pretty much stay up until 1:30 or so anyway..but..maybe it has something to do with my trouble sleeping..it’s hard to say because I also take a morning nap for about 3-4 hours into the noon hours. Sometimes I think these are residue from the Ambien..but you know what?..screw it..i am taking my damn Ambien!!! The savior of my physical life!!!

I have been thinking about some of the things i have read on other sites today..i love to learn..to study..to explore..the vast space that is the internet..of course..back in the day..before the internet..i used to love to read books. I find it interesting that i tend to count tiles..lights..numbers on signs…letters on chalkboards. I never even really thought about it until my wife said in church one day..”What are you doing?” and I just said, “Oh..just counting bricks and lights”. She said,”Do you do that a lot?..and i said,”For as long as i can remember”…it is so funny the things we do without having an idea that it could be strange or unusual..I have found through study and personal experience..that we..mentally ill folk.. do many things that are strange and unusual…

I have enjoyed playing Witcher 3!..it is the coolest game i have ever played..and i’ve been playing video games since i had to travel somewhere else to play them..that’s right..i actually had to pay money for the privilege of playing a game..some of my favorites were actually pinball games..i loved me some pinball baby!!! I was pretty good too!….anyway..the witcher is a great game based on an open environment..i’m sure when you read this in the future..today’s technology will probably be as ancient as my beloved Space Invaders from back in the day…come to think of it..i have been alive for many of the greatest advancements in all of history..for instance..i remember when a phone was just a phone…when satellite disks took up half of your back yard…but you know..there was something about those days..i loved them days more than anything.. now..it was my childhood and it was my 80’s baby!!!!

…80’s  was were it was..favorite music back in the day..as well as now…New Wave!! Doesn’t exist now..as i said before..that life is gone..I can’t stand watching my bands from the day..begging for scraps now..Watching a bunch of  wrinkled up grey haired sacks that can’t sing anymore..just doesn’t do it for me..i watch videos on YouTube displaying bands from back in the day..embarrassing themselves in front of the camera..and then even worse..is the people who are at the concerts..old fat..over the hill people about my age..trying so hard to feel like they did in the past..I look into the past more than anything…what makes the past so special is that it was a moment in time..that time was then..this is now..So..what do i do..you ask..to relive the glory years of music? I watch the damn videos of the past!!..the ones where my favorite bands were young…when MTV had just started…it was the golden age of video! As the song most vividly describes”Video definitely killed the radio star”!

Speaking of the past…well..let’s just say..that was a different animal all together..I loved almost all of the aspects of the 80’s except when my symptoms really started to reveal themselves. A story for another day..in fact..probably many more days..but for now..that is good…..

Hopefully a good night for me…we shall see..(that was a tight rhyme. .that’s a topic for another day as well..my tight rhyming skills!..i especially love limericks…:)

Kind of a weird path I went down tonight..i didn’t expect it..but..it was a big part of my past life..a big part..all of it……..

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February 29, 2019 (12:07 a.m.)

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