Thursday April 21, 2016 9:01 p.m.

Why is it that when you go into a doctors office..they get you right back but then you have to wait in the room forever before the damn doctor comes in?! Is it just a thing to make it look good that they got you out of the front..I freakin’ hate it! I have a little issue with closed in places..doctors…shots..blood pressure..blood draw..i know that a lot of people have these issues and i am not special in any way..but..i also have White Coat Syndrome..let’s just say…take the things above and worry 20X as much about  every aspect and there you have it!!! My pdoc has wanted me to have blood drawn for about 4 months now..i have not done it..i have several teeth that need root canals but there they are..rotting and falling apart…i have a lawn that has grown 4 feet tall grass…how’s it going to be next week? Probably 5 feet.

Anyway..this is what i love about blogs..i came to talk about waits in doctors offices and ended up talking about a lot of other issues…i guess these kinds of dilemmas happen when you suffer from: GAD..Bipolar 2…Specific Phobias…Bipolar Depression…Paranoid Personality Disorder…and last but not least…Love Addiction…Can you just imagine the fun i have on a daily basis….Ha..Ha…Ha….

You know what….

FUCK THAT!!!! It sucks…….

That is all…carry on soldiers……

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Thursday April 21, 2016 9:01 p.m.

Sat. April 16, 2016 2:08 a.m.

Well..let’s see..The sun was out today..so why did i feel like such shit?! I usually feel good on sunny days and the wind was soft with fluffy clouds..maybe it was the fact that i have not been feeling too well lately…sickness does me in..you know how it rolls..you get sick and nothing else seems to matter..all i do is worry about it..it consumes my mind.

Anyway..mostly S.S.D.D. Sleep usually brings a better attitude…

Off i go to my imaginary world………………..

Sat. April 16, 2016 2:08 a.m.

Friday, April 15, 2016 4:04 p.m.

So for the last couple days..i have been extremely hypermanic..it gets to a point where i can’t stop tapping my feet..laughing..singing..you get the picture..however..today i crashed hard..I am completely depressed and tired…i am sooooo damn tired…

Friday, April 15, 2016 4:04 p.m.

Love Addiction..you may have it!

April fools….it’s your pathetic life…front and center. Except it’s not April fools for me..it’s all reality! You know what?…i hate doing these fucking blogs and bitching all the time about my horrible life and all that…but i feel i owe it to my posterity to tell it how it is..so that when i die some day…and they have the same kinds of experiences…they will know why!

……with that in mind..i believe i have another diagnosis to add to my GAD..Bipolar 2…Bipolar Depression…Specific Phobias..ADD…and Paranoid Personality Disorder…My new one?….self diagnosed but about 95% sure…Love Addiction! I didn’t even know what it was until a little while ago when i was studying up on Hypersexuality. I used to blog about these different kinds of things..but..this is a journal. I won’t do it here..Just a word of advice…if you think you might be hypersexuality but you don’t fit all of the sexual aspects of it…you may want to look at Love Addiction…just google it…

On to the bitching part of the blog…i feel very sad tonight! I hurt someone that i care about because of this very issue..i can’t stop doing this stupid shit…i read up and it says you will need counseling for it…yah..Love Addiction…get in the back of the Fucking line…I already need counseling for all the other fucked up shit going on in my head…in fact..you know what? I am going to donate my fuckin’ brain to science…maybe they can find out how fucked up it is!!!

I don’t want to fight anymore! Sound familiar to anyone here? I keep finding out new ways that my brain is abnormal and it makes me wonder how much more i can take…i’m here for my wife and kids you know..it’s really the only reason…if they died..then i die…if you know what i mean! This world sucks shit!!! It will pick you up…eat you..then shit you out the other end!

Sorry…i used to never swear..believe it or not…However..these days..it’s the only words that can truly describe the pain i go through on a daily basis…

Enough for this night of cries…..

Until the next one…………

Love Addiction..you may have it!